You're Doing It Wrong!
by Ginger Paws 14
Summary: Sirius and Remus must care for baby Harry for the day. Is Remus right or is Sirius right?


_"Sirius. You are doing it wrong." _Remus and Sirius had been fighting over the 'right' way to change a diaper for 20 minutes. Harry's diaper was getting dirtier the longer those two argued. Harry didn't like wet or soiled diapers.

_"Stop talking, Remus. You are scaring him," _Sirius said quietly.

_"I'm not scaring him. You are. And you are still doing it wrong. It goes like this." _Remus demonsrated to Sirius the correct way to change a diaper.

_"Haha. Remus changed the diaper! Haha!" _Remus held Harry up and looked at his best friend's son. He was small for a baby. But he was still cute, like any other baby.

_"Sirius, just because there is a baby here that doesn't mean you can act like one," _Remus said watching Harry crawl on the carpet towards the large stufffed bear in the corner. He picked Harry up and handed him over to Sirius. Sirius cuddled him and sat in the rocking chair.

_"I'm going to get his bottle. Please don't do anything stupid," _Remus said walking out the door. He peeked his head in a few seconds later.

_"Don't worry. I won't," _Sirius whispered looking lovingly at Harry. The gentle swaying motion of the chair and the warmth of Sirius's body lulled the baby to sleep. Remus came in a few minutes later and looked at the two sleeping in the chair and smiled. He knew his friend was a sucker for babys. He was too. Careful not to wake either of the boys, he lifted Harry out of Sirius's slowly sagging arms and layed him in the crib beside the chair. On his way out of the room, he covered Sirius with a blanket and dimmed the lights.

Remus spent the next two hours sprawled on the sofa reading his new book. Harry was the first to wake up and cry, in time waking his sitter sleeping next to him. Harry was hungry. Remus had to return to the kitchen to get the bottle and returned to find Sirius holding the baby and rocking him in his arms.

_"Here."_ Remus passed the warm bottle to his friend and waited quietly until Harry needed burped. Sirius got the bright idea that he was going to teach Harry to burp "correctly." He handed Harry off to Remus and demonstrated the proper way to burp; Loudly.

_"Oh. Sirius! That's disgusting! I don't care how old Harry is. . . **NEVER** teach him that!"_

_"I can do my ABC's too, Harry. (burp) A (burp) B (burp) C (burp) D (burp) E (burp) F (burp) G (burp) H (burp) I (burp) J (burp) K (burp) L (burp) M (burp) N (burp) O (burp) P (burp) Q (burp) R (burp) S (burp) T (burp) U (burp) V (burp) W (burp) X (burp) Y (burp) Z (burp)"_

After Sirius had hit P, Remus left to read Harry "The Three Little Pigs" which was briefly interupted by Sirius following and finishing his obscene alphabet. When Remus started reading, he was interupted once again.

_"Remus. You are doing it wrong." _Apparently there is a certain way to read fairy tales to one-year-olds. _"You have to do funny voices." _Sirius grabbed the book from Remus's lap and started his version of the story.

_"Da foist wittle piggie buiwt his wittle housie out of stwaw. Din, de big bad woofie came and bwowded da housie over," _Sirius said in a childish voice at which Remus was laughing.

_"Sirius,"_ he said in between laughs, _"that's not right, mate."_

_"You do it then."_

_"Ze second wittle piggie built 'is 'ouse out of steecks. Zin ze big bad wolf bleu ze 'ouse overs,"_ Remus said with a French accent at which Sirius was afraid he would die laughing at.

_"Me again..." _he gasped.

_"Fine."_

_"The third_ (He held up three fingers.) _piggie_ (He held his nose upto make it look flat.) _built _(He made hammering gestures.) _his house _(He made a roof shape with his hands.) _out of bricks. _(He didn't know what to do for bricks so he spelled it out in sign language.)_Then the big bad wolf _(He snarled and showed his teeth.) _came and blew _(He took a deep breath and blew it on Remus's face also sending spit flying.) _the house over. _(He made his roof shape again and made it fall.)"

_"Um... Sirius. The brick house isn't suppose to fall over."_

_"He doesn't know that." _Remus had to laugh at his friend's logic. It wasn't right but it was funny. Harry had previously been staring at the both of them like they were the stupid ones and he were the genius. He now let out a loud cry. Both men turned to him from their argument about whether Sirius was right or wrong. Remus picked up the infant and sniffed.

_"Whew!"_ He pulled back as fast as he could. _"New diaper again. Here Sirius."_

_"No way. You do it."_

_"You do it. I did it last time."_

_"Yes... You know how to change it. I don't remember." _Sirius was smirking.

_"You remember you moron. Here."_

_"No."_

_"Yes."_

_"No."_

_"YES!"_

_"NO!"_

_**"YES!"**_

_**"NO!"**_

* * *

A/N--This could go on for hours so I'm ganna end it here. Reviews are greatly appricaited! I'll tell the Devil not to let you in to Hell if you don't! (BTW: it's fun down there... lol. I bet some people constanly wish I would just stay there... lol !) 


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